Reconnect to your Core
a practical guide on how to feel good and be happy


Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - The Real Problem............................................. page 1

Your symptoms are not the real problem

The solution to your problem

Examples of feelings phobia in daily life

John - anxious without any reason

Marie - worried before a party

Susan - neck pain after meeting with the boss

Greg - panic attack after proposing to girlfriend

Dan - important presentation «gone wrong»

The Living Machines in our society

What you will learn in this book

To change you need a different emotional experience


Chapter 2 - Understand your brains. Know your mind. page 39

The reptilian brain • anxiety regulation, fight-or-flight, aggression, and automatic processes

The mammalian brain • sex & domination, to reproduce, eat, feel, desire, get, and want

The primate (human) brain • rational thought & spiritual values


Chapter 3 - A Theory of Human Functioning................. page 48

The emotional brain remembers

The emergence of defense mechanisms

The GSU & the reprogramming process


Chapter 4 - It’s all in your head (and body)................... page 55

The Triangle of Conflict

The role of attention

The order of causality

To accept you have an unconscious mind

Separating the corners of the Triangle of Conflict

Common mistakes when trying to separate the ToC-corners

Confusing the trigger with the feeling

Confusing anxiety with feeling

Confusing anxiety with defense mechanism

The Triangle of Person

Practical application of the ToP


Chapter 5 - What are feelings?........................................ page 68

The 3 components of a feeling

Are feelings positive or negative?

Access to some feelings but not others

Feelings come in response to others and towards others

Internal emotional conflict

The 5 Primary Feelings

Feelings activate our body temperature

Neutral State vs. Anxiety vs. Fear

Anger

Happiness

Sadness

Love

Guilt

Impulses & Fantasies

Our dark side: the killer inside us

To reach out and connect

Tools: Visualization and fantasy

The intensity of feelings

Return to the silence

The what, where, and how


Chapter 6 - What is anxiety?........................................... page 89

The difference between anxiety and symptoms

Anxiety is not your defense mechanisms

Anxiety and fear, imagination and reality

Anxiety is without words

The payoff of being anxious

Anxiety is natural

Anxiety means you’re living outside your comfort zone

Anxiety as resistance to internal conflict

Anxiety takes different forms

Anxiety and the brain

Key points to remember about anxiety


Chapter 7 - How to regulate anxiety............................. page 102

Ask for more anxiety

Summary: How to regulate your anxiety


Chapter 8 - What are Defense Mechanisms?................. page 105

The development of defenses

Defense mechanisms exist for a reason

A defense mechanism seldom comes alone

Defense mechanisms are not You

The most common defense mechanisms

Two broad categories of defenses: tactical and formal

Defense against emotional closeness (DAEC)

The Tactical defenses

The Tactical Non-Verbal Defenses

The Tactical Verbal Defenses

Vagueness

Sarcasm and Irony

Changing Subjects

Argumentativeness

Passivity

Distancing

Talking about yourself in the third person

Playing games

The Formal Defenses

The Repressive Defenses

Intellectualization and rationalization

Worrying & Rumination

Minimalization

Displacement

Reaction Formation

Ignoring & Imitation

Avoidance and procrastination

Externalisation

Confusing and mixing action, thought, anxiety, and feeling

Distraction

Self-Attacking thoughts

Addictive Behavior

The Regressive Defenses

Projection

Denial

Acting Out & Discharge of Impulse

Repetition Compulsion & Imitation

Identifying with the Aggressor

Passive-Aggressiveness

Defensive affect

Isolation of Affect

Somatization

Final thoughts on defense mechanisms


Chapter 9 - What’s the ego?............................................ page 139

Stream of consciousness

Inventor versus observer

The core of the ego - part I

The ego is impersonal

Human brain vs mammalian/reptilian brain

Sigmund Freud’s structural model

How it all ties together

Become the observer

How to treat the ego

What’s the unconscious

Why does the ego exist?

Ego-patterns

The core of the ego - part II

The ego as the Child

To not identify with the ego

To overcome the ego in two steps

The ego’s thinkingness

The ego itself can’t be changed


Chapter 10 - Levels of consciousness............................. page 161

The Map of Consciousness

Level 200: The threshold between ego-identification and Self-orientation

Level 500: The emergence of Love as a way of life

The distribution of the levels of consciousness

The levels below 200: The ego

Shame (Level 20)

Guilt (Level 30)

Apathy (Level 50)

Grief (Level 75)

Fear (Level 100)

Desire (Level 125)

Anger (Level 150)

Pride (Level 175)

The payoff at different levels of consciousness

The levels between 200-500: Linear mind

Difference in attitudes

Personality traits of people between 200-500

Courage (Level 200)

Neutrality (Level 250)

Willingness (Level 310)

Acceptance (Level 350)

Reason (Level 400)

The levels above 500: Spiritual reality

Love (Level 500)

Unconditional Love, Joy & Ecstasy (Level 540)

Peace & Enlightenment (Level 600 to 1000)

The similarities between defense mechanisms and Levels of Consciousness


Chapter 11 - How to deal with defense mechanisms.... page 201

Identification and awareness of the defense

Clarification of the defense

Examining the consequence of the defense

Turning yourself against the defense


Chapter 12 - How to feel your Feelings: the Letting Go technique.......................................................................... page 207


Chapter 13 - How to feel your Feelings: the GSU-exercise................................................................ page 212

A note of caution

The GSU-exercise: Feeling your way through the unconscious

DAEC

Anger & Reactive rage

Unconscious guilt

Pain and grief

Love and attachment strivings

«Tell me again, how is presentation anxiety, depression, or back pain related to me killing off my parents in my imagination?»


Chapter 14 - How to communicate your feelings......... page 224

Away from content towards context

Intention and discernment

The Qualifier-paradigm

Silence in communication

Playfully demanding

How to deal with the non-integrous

Favorite ego-games of the non-integrous

How non-integrous people process information

What «Integrity» really means


Chapter 15 - Resistance to reality, suffering, change, and love................................................................................... page 247

Why are people so resistant?

Resistance and gain

Resistance and self-sabotage

Resistance and working through

Resistance and the ego

Resistance and Love


Chapter 16 - The Spiritual Path...................................... page 257

To trust the unconscious

Attitudes of higher mind

Spiritual principles

Practical spiritual work

Observing (witnessing) & Surrendering

Contemplation

Honesty

Recontextualization

Humor

Savoir Vivre

Final thoughts on being on the spiritual path


Chapter 17 - Why change now?...................................... page 269

A burning desire to change

The decision to change

It’s Decision time

Two critical decisions