Reconnect to your Core
a practical guide on how to feel good and be happy


What is love?

Love can be defined as many things. There is love for the universe, the world, towards God, your country, your neighbor, your pets, your children, and your spouse etc. The Finnish study (i.e as referredreferred to in the book Reconnect to your Core) however defined love as «romantic love» felt between two consenting adults. It may be argued that the concept of love measured here describes more «desire» or attraction than «love», and that may partially be true since the majority of the population is unaware of the concept of love as a way of life (i.e. as a level of consciousness) as it’s defined from a spiritual viewpoint. I will cover the latter viewpoint more in-depth in Chapter 10. For now we define love as a physical feeling, while later we’ll focus on love as a state of being.

In many aspects love resembles happiness in that the whole body is glowing, but that love also has strong activation in the genital area. Also of interest is that the legs are more relaxed during love than during happiness. As it says in the Bible: « I will declare that your love stands firm forever.», whereas the term «jumping with joy» might help to explain why people report more activation in the legs during happiness.

Love as consciousness

Lovingness is a way of being in and relating to the world which is forgiving, nurturing, and supportive. Love is not intellectual and does not proceed from the mind, love emanates from the heart. For the loving person, love becomes a way of life and a way of relating to life in all its expressions. Love seeks no return or gain because it is self-rewarding by virtue of its completeness since it has no needs. At this level the barriers to love that arises from animal instincts no longer dominates. The narcissistic core of the ego doesn’t predominate as it does in the lower levels, and the capacity to discern the essence both of people and situations becomes much better. The core of an issue becomes the center of focus since love takes no position and rises above positionalities and dualities. Love dissolves negativity by recontextualizing it rather than attacking it. It is only at this level that true happiness can begin.

At lower levels of consciousness what is perceived as love is conditional and identified with possession, passion, romance, and desire, which are then projected onto people and objects to give them an exciting specialness and glamour that tends to fade after the prized object or relationship is secured.

The obsessive frantic desire and needy infatuation promotes the fear of loss which leads to despair. If what is the perceived «owned» object or person is not obtained it may result in rage and jealousy which triggers the animal-ego’s killer instinct. Society views such infatuation as a temporary madness which is characterized by its loss of reality testing, immunity to rational intervention, and lack of common sense, and happens to call that love. Therefore the concepts of love and passionate desire are often mixed-up, and people claim they love another person when what often is going on is desire mixed with the glamorized effect the ego gives its prized object. This frantic nature of the mating instinct can also be viewed as nature’s way of propagating the species. The diagram below, originally from Hawkins book Transcending the levels of Consciousness, illustrates the differences between love at level 500 versus passion/desire/attraction at level 145.

As illustrated above, desire comes from the lower self, whereas love comes from the higher Self. A loving state results in the awareness of the inborn value of all that exists. Love doesn’t seek to get and is therefore free to peacefully be with and appreciate all that is.

A key to making love unconditionally is the willingness to forgive the past and to become aware of the tendency of viewing people as unlovable. When unconditional love is present other people are simply seen as limited, influenced by social experience and ego-programming, spiritually underprivileged, and a reflection the ego’s inability to separate truth from falsehood.

Unconditional Love, Joy & Ecstasy

As love becomes increasingly unconditional it begins to be experienced as a more or less continually present inner joy. Unconditional love is not the sudden joy of a pleasurable happening but rather the constant mood pertaining to all activities. Joy arises from within each moment of existence rather than from any external source. This is the level of spiritual healers or advanced spiritual students. The motto they live by may be summed up in the teaching: «The more one loves the more one can love».

The unconditionally loving individual has a capacity for enormous patience and a continued positive attitude in the face of extended misfortune. The main characteristic of this state is compassion towards all beings. The world one sees is colored by the immense beauty and perfection of every creation existing on the planet. Everything in one’s life happens through peace and harmony without any difficulty. One sees the world and everything in it to be an expression of love and spiritual reality.

The state of unconditional love is reachable by simple means, though to bring about the aforementioned subjective experiences spiritual practices and values have to be lived by and sticked to continually on a daily basis. It’s not enough to simply know about love, at this level one also has to have the intention to become it. It’s required to seriously commit to spiritual principles and a steadfast willingness to surrender obstacles, limitations, and every positionality and their unconscious payoffs. The most obvious payoffs that need to be surrendered are to be right, to win, to gain, and to be admired.

The subjective experience of the flow of spiritual energy is according to Hawkins felt as an «exquisite sweetness». At this level there is no «doer» behind every action since one has become the witness of everything that unfolds spontaneously. In the world of the unconditionally loving all fear is illusion due merely to clinging to a positionality and its perceptions.

Resistance and Love

Ultimately, all resistance whether it be defense mechanisms, emotions, ego-patterns, or lower levels of consciousness are merely all different forms of resistance to love. The ego is a loveless creature and will practically do anything to avoid love, since love is what will dissolve the identification with the ego. But only reconnecting with your loving core is what’s going to heal you and lead to true happiness.

Most people push away love because the ego wants to plan, categorize, and control rather than create. Love is spontaneous, but that’s exactly what scares people the most because in a spontaneous state feelings will be shared and attachment bonds will be made.

In a romantic relationship the normal and healthy thing is to fall in love and to just be real with each other. When the non-integrous are trying to reverse this truth by pretending that control-games and status wars are the norm, then a loving person needs to see that and realize that love is being attacked writes Hemon. Some people are great with attraction, intimacy, and seduction, but not so great with love. Your ability to discern who’s who becomes vital in your quest to try to find love in this lifetime. The goal is that relationships with others assume a real specificity so that you can love and be loved by those you choose to be close to, while staying away from or confront those who you perceive as a threat.

As you evolve it will become clearer when love is under attack, and you will gradually stop your wishful thinking and rationalizations and take people as they are rather than suppressing yourself in order to «avoid confrontation», seek approval, or selling out your standards and integrity. Love has nothing to do with people-pleasing behavior or mistakenly «being strong» by suppressing your feelings. Love is real strength, authenticity, and integrity.

The article above is an excerpt from Reconnect to your Core.

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